Forming a domestic church: Parish hosts discussion on bringing parents into catechesis

Social Service Sister Celeste Arbuckle and Sabrina Harper, pastoral associate at St. Matthias Parish, Redwood City. (Photo by Nicholas Wolfram Smith/Catholic San Francisco).

September 13, 2018
Nicholas Wolfram Smith

Menlo Park’s recent history has been one of disruption, as Facebook and other local companies have shaken and rebuilt American society in far-reaching ways. St. Denis Parish in Menlo Park discussed another kind of change that could be significant: incorporating parents into children’s faith formation.

Vatican II talked about the family as the “domestic church,” where faith is learned and lived. Two dozen catechists and parents gathered on Aug. 25 to discuss how to help parents become the primary educators of their children in faith. Sabrina Harper, pastoral associate at St. Matthias Parish in Redwood City, talked about how her parish over several years moved from a child-centered, classroom model of religious education to one that invited the whole family into faith formation through monthly meetings. Although there was some initial resistance to the changes, she said, the community has fully supported how the faith formation program has adapted to serve the parish better.

Harper said the old model of Catholic religious education had proven to be ineffective in her parish. Children and teens moved through religious instruction but seemed to abandon practicing their faith as soon as they could. By promoting faith experienced as a family, the parish decided, parents become the first example for their children of what it means to be Catholic.

A recent study showed that children are perceptive of how important religion is to their parents. People who became atheists reported losing their faith younger when they saw their parents’ actions did not line up with their religion.

Encouraging a domestic church does not mean eliminating catechists: Parents need just as much support from catechists as their children do, Harper said. Many parents can have mistaken ideas about what the church teaches or feel that they are not as Catholic as their children need them to be.

Children can also be evangelizers of their families, Harper said. Sacramental preparation classes can act as “entry points” for families who feel distanced or removed from church, because their children’s enthusiasm for the sacraments can reawaken their own desire for God.

Meeting attendees discussed many of the issues that affect catechesis in the Catholic Church. Parental concerns often center on their children losing their faith or believing in Jesus Christ but not feeling church attendance is important. Kids can often complain that church is boring, and that none of their friends go to church.

Catechists observed that many parents don’t seem to bring their kids to Mass, and that sacramental preparation can become a “drive through experience” for some families, where parents show up, have a ceremony, and then leave.

Social Service Sister Celeste Arbuckle, the director of faith formation in the Archdiocese of San Francisco, said catechists in their work with parents can focus on two objectives: how parents can share their faith, and how parents can lead their families to grow deeper in faith.

“It’s very simple but it has to be taught,” she said.

Lisa Bamford, a parent who has participated in the family faith formation meetings at St. Matthias, said the family discussions about faith could be challenging, but were important because they allowed her to rediscover her own faith, and let her children to see her as a faith-filled person.

Learning the faith alongside other families, she said, was also helpful because it showed her what other parents are doing to grow closer to God and how she can incorporate what they do into her own family. Her children also have another reason to look forward to faith formation.

“Because there’s pizza,” she said with a laugh.