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Joseph Dallara, Elmer Ortega and Daniel Barrios are pictured with Nellie Sell during St. Raphael School’s Walk for the Poor. (Photo by Debra Greenblat/Catholic San Francisco)
January 13, 2020
Lidia Wasowicz
The school and parish that work, play and pray together stay strong, supportive and spiritual together.
In interviews, 24 pupils, parents, principals, pastors and parishioners cited a bevy of benefits from programs that promote a partnership among them.
Collaborative engagements – from pasta dinners and clothing collections to sacramental rites and walks for the poor – empower, enlighten and energize a community united in love of Jesus, they attested.
Religion classes frequented by clergy, choir recitals at Sunday services, morning prayers with teachers and priests, rosary courses taught by a parishioner, liturgies with a younger “buddy” she mentors, pancake breakfasts, Advent wreath-making get-togethers and student presentations at Mass have provided educational and enjoyable experiences for Kirsten Pitcher, a sixth grader at St. Hilary School in Tiburon.
“Any activity to help me learn more about my faith is great and makes me feel included in the church,” she said.
Altar serving, helping out with St. Vincent De Paul food drives, marching for the underprivileged and taking part in outreach projects have enabled eighth grader Nellie Sell to befriend the pastor, sisters, lectors and other members of the St. Raphael Church and Mission community in San Rafael whom she otherwise would not have met.
Getting to know the volunteers who support the church and its services for the poor, homeless, elderly and sick “has shown me how much helping other people actually helps yourself and reminds me that you should always be working to please God,” Nellie said.
Taking advantage of crossover opportunities at St. Brendan School and parish in San Francisco, seventh graders Katie Nelson and Claire Cannon and Bobby Nelson, two years their junior, have reaped social and spiritual rewards.
“Most of my friends also help and volunteer in the parish,” said Katie, a youth minister, altar server, lector, “peace maker” for younger children, May crowning participant and fundraiser for various church-sponsored charities. “We all like to help others and grow in our faith.”
Making sandwiches for the hungry, serving soup during Lent and taking part in other parish-partnered activities “brought our class closer together (and) taught us how some things we take for granted are important to other people,” Claire said.
For Bobby, 10, an expanded circle of fellowship rounded out the list of benefits.
“I have made new friends and got to know the priests at our school,” the fifth grader said. “I like when the teachers and priests come to my CYO games and when the priests and nuns visit during the school day.”
Encouraged by such feedback, St. Brendan principal Dianne Lakatta and pastor Father Roger Gustafson have increased their inventory of inclusive innovations.
As one example, Lakatta introduced Nun-Talk Tuesdays, featuring pastoral associate Sister Angela Furia, who gets personal on such topics as what she does for fun, why she chose religious life and how she talks to God.
“Students are able to ask questions of our nun and see that she is a real person who eats, sleeps, likes to do things and loves God,” the principal said.
Among his contributions, Father Gustafson has gone to every classroom to sing with students a custom composition centered on the catchphrase “one body” to signify the desire for school-church unity. At back-to-school night, he had all the parents stand, embrace and belt out this “anthem.”
“One of the things I’m constantly reminding parishioners about is that the church is not a building but a movement of people, all together, toward Christ,” the pastor said. “Therefore to have a close association between church and school within a parish ensures that school families and parishioners are moving in the same direction spiritually.”
Such assurance attracted Colette Cannon, who enrolled her daughter and son, and Jenny Nelson, who signed up her three offspring.
“We chose St. Brendan for our children because we wanted them to live a life of faith and Catholic values,” said Cannon, president of the Mothers’ Club. “Having strong ties between the parish and the school emphasizes how important those values are to us.”
The ties bind current members and bring in new ones, said Nelson, chair of the School Advisory Board.
“St. Brendan has over 1,200 active parishioners but feels like a small, close-knit family of neighbors and friends,” she said. “We are lucky to have found a community that feels like home.”
Across the bay, families express equal satisfaction with their home turf where school and parish boundaries blend.
For Paula Pitcher, the affiliation offers numerous spiritual, moral, ethical and practical benefits, including synchronicity between classroom lessons and the liturgical year.
“The church and school sit on a pretty hill in Tiburon, overlooking Richardson Bay, with gorgeous views, but in truth the people and their commitment and dedication to each other make the place,” said the 11-year parishioner and mother of two students at St. Hilary.
Principal Marie Bordeleau and Father William Brown, the pastor, have worked diligently to expand joint activities and communications, including the integration of priests and parishioners into the classroom and extracurricular setting and of school news into church videos, emails, newsletters and bulletins.
“It is important that the children feel rooted in a Catholic community, to have a sense of family and belonging, a sense of tradition, to grow into faith-filled adults,” said Bordeleau, whose son attends fourth grade at St. Hilary.
“If there were no strong ties, between the school and the rest of the parish, this would be a very sad thing indeed,” Father Brown said, “two separate entities merely coexisting side by side on the same property.”
Subscribing to similar sentiments, St. Raphael principal Lydia Collins and pastor Father Andrew Spyrow have joined hands to link their two entities.
“The benefits of a united parish-school community are building a stronger faith community and ensuring a future for both the parish and school,” Collins said. “It doesn’t make sense to teach about our Catholic faith and not have a place to attend Mass or pray.”
A symbiotic relationship has practical advantages, noted assistant principal Francesca Previtali.
“It helps us to work together to achieve our ultimate shared mission in large ways, such as financial stability, and in the day-to-day menial tasks, such as who gets to use the church and when,” she said.
And it underscores a Catholic school’s position as a primary ministry of its parish and not “just a private school,” said Kathy Murray, first-grade teacher and mother of three St. Raphael alums.
“The children are our future parishioners, and it is very important for them to feel they are … a part of a bigger community who cares for them as they are educated by God-loving staff and teachers,” said Barbara Beaulieu, member of the St. Raphael St. Vincent De Paul Conference.
Wanting to promote that feeling, Megan Dominguez, mother of two St. Raphael students, spearheaded an annual Memorial Day weekend camping trip for school and church families.
“We are socially and spiritually fulfilled when the school and parish form a community,” she said.
For his part, Father Spyrow has made himself so visible – at festivals, auctions, assemblies, morning prayers and other school events – “the students actually know who the pastor is and will call out his name from across the playground,” Collins said.
“It comes down to working together, listening to the concerns of each other … having the families and students know their priest better outside Sunday Mass,” Father Spyrow said.
Parishioners applaud his efforts.
“If the students and school families realize that the priests and nuns are just regular people trying to do a hard job, they might be more inclined to help out with that job or consider being a priest or a nun themselves,” said Margaret Sell, mother of a third and eighth grader. “I feel very lucky to have Father Andrew at St. Raphael’s because he appears to be making an effort to do this.”
Making an effort to cross the school-parish aisle, St. Hilary revitalized its monthly post-Mass dinners by adding a new ingredient: school personnel and students to set up, serve up and clean up.
“Attendance increased as well as the noise level, which is a great thing,” said Father Andrew Ginter, chaplain at Marin Catholic High School, who introduced the pasta nights while serving as parochial vicar at St. Hilary. “It has brought the two different parts of our community together, which sometimes do not cross paths.”
The crossing paths have led to some heavenly destinations.
Jennifer Marples, mom of three students, arrived at “more participation, more attendance at Mass, more connecting with my Catholic roots.”
Her son Rhys, a St. Hilary eighth grader, came to a “spiritual growth because I am praying more.”
Others have traveled even further.
“Last year, we had 11 RCIA members who became full members of the Catholic Church at the Easter Vigil Mass,” Father Brown boasted. “And many of them mentioned one school mom in particular who inspired them.”
Murray concluded: “We strive to help our students be who God meant for them to be and our strong parish-school ties help make that possible.”