Teach me the secrets of wisdom

August 9, 2018
Sister Jean Evans, RSM
 
As a young sister I was impressed by a particular psalm in the office book that encouraged taking the long view of things. Before the mountains were born and the earth came to birth, God is and has been God from “eternity to eternity” (Psalm 90). At the time, I was a first year high school teacher of religion and English struggling to prepare for classes, to correct mountains of essays, tests and homework papers, and to adjust to life in a large community of sisters with diverse personalities and gifts.
 
One night in chapel, I found myself caught by the line, “Teach me the secrets of wisdom” (Psalm 90:12). There in a moment of great sincerity, I asked God to grant me that gift of wisdom. In the novitiate, our philosophy instructor Sister M. Celeste Rouleau emphasized the importance of personal reflection as a pathway to wisdom. It doesn’t matter if you’re young, she said, you can become wise by reflecting on your experience.
 
Well, it didn’t take me too long to conclude that most of the secrets of wisdom are revealed in suffering. Later, I saw that my suffering, whatever it was or would become, could be a resource or even a gift, as long as I kept reflecting on my experience. Now with a few more years behind me, I share a few bits of wisdom.
 
Be engaged: I remember the words on a French retreatant’s T-shirt: “J’m engage!” When I saw this, I thought rightly or wrongly that it means, “I’m involved” or “I am committed.” Only recently did I realize that “J’m engage!” is not just a slogan for young people. It’s a way of life, (as they say in Weight Watchers). Stay in the struggle whether it’s within you or outside you.
 
Be bold in your prayer: Ask. Thank. Adore. Reach out. Intercede. Forgive.
 
Be silent: Silence is freedom and discovery. It is a condition of creativity. It is frightening and uncomfortable. Silence is the vacation you give yourself from the expectations of others. Jesuit poet Gerard Manley Hopkins sang of silence: “Pipe me to pastures still and be / The music that I care to hear” (“Elected Silence”). When you think nothing is happening in prayer, remember: “Silence is God’s language of love” (St. John of the Cross).
 
Let yourself cry: Taste your tears – bitter, salty or just wet? Are they tears of fear, joy, surprise or anger? Are they tears of sadness over sin, tears of sorrow at the tragedies and sufferings that befall others? Maybe they’re tears of shame? Peter wept after betraying Jesus, his heart pierced by a dart of love (St. Francis de Sales). No tears? St. Catherine of Siena says God will give you tears of fire, the Spirit’s tears.
 
Think of the other person first, not second: My father had so many things that really annoyed him. One particular gripe was about people with the IGM mentality. Translation: “I’ve got mine.” Thinking of the other is the gift God gives us for the world. Be a source of encouragement and affirmation.
 
Meditate on the Passion: In some way known only to God, accompanying Jesus in his passion is a source of energy, peace and healing. We receive the strength to face our own sufferings, the desire to alleviate the suffering of others, and the invitation to find solace and rest in his wounded side. “In thy wounds I fain would hide; ne’er to be parted from thy side” (Anima Christi).
 
Healing: Remember that healing, like joy, is an unexpected visitor.
 
Why not take some time to figure out your own secrets of wisdom? I’m sure there are many!
 
Mercy Sister Jean Evans ministers in the Capuchin Development Office in Burlingame.